THE_PERFECT_ROCK BAND
(Vol. 1 Track 1)
[sfx: plane touching down]
Announcement: This is a customer announcement. Returning from America via 11:35 ANA Flight Number 5, Higurashi-sama. Higurashi Akane-sama. We have a message for you, so please make your way to the information counter near South Exit 3.
Akane: (deep sigh) That guy…
[sfx: Akane wheeling his suitcase]
Akane: <Excuse me.> [1] I mean, sorry to bother you. It’s about that announcement that went out just now. I’m Higurashi.
Airport Staff: (starstruck) Uh….?
Akane: Is something up?
Airport Staff: Ah, please excuse me! You’re Higurashi-sama, correct? A short while ago, a certain Tokito-sama demanded we make an announcement for you…
Kurono: Akane-san!
[sfx: Kurono running up]
Kurono: Welcome back, Akane-san! You look well, I’m glad. You’ve had an awfully long journey, you must be tired. Good work.
Akane: It wasn’t awfully long, it was just from New Yo–
Kurono: From New York, approximately 13 hours of flight time. On top of that, the air currents today were more turbulent than usual. I was worried your flight would have been delayed or worse…!
Akane: You’re catastrophizing…
Kurono: When you said you were taking a trip to the United States all by yourself… Why didn’t I stop you? I should have tried harder!
Akane: Ku-ro-no-kun.
Kurono: Y- Yes!
Akane: There. I’m not even sure where to start, so I’ll just go with whatever order I thought of ‘em, alright? First of all, you’re monologuing way too loud, and you’ve got to stop imagining the worst before it’s even happened. Also, stop trying to call for me through the airport announcements, I already told you, that’s super old fashioned – you have a smartphone, use it! (frustrated, tired sigh) Ugh, I only just got back to Japan and I’m already exhausted.
Kurono: I was impolite… Please, forgive me.
Akane: Nah, you’re good.
Kurono: I of all people should have been more considerate to you, especially with how hard you’ve been working! I really should have been the one carrying your bags from the start!
[sfx: Kurono grabbing Akane’s suitcase]
Akane: I mean, I appreciate the help… but, uh, didn’t you hear what I just said?
Kurono: The car is waiting for us in the parking garage. Right, let’s get going!
[sfx: Kurono walking off wheeling the suitcase]
Akane: He’s enthusiastic today, isn’t he?
Airport Staff: Higurashi Akane…sama… It can’t be…
Akane: Shh. Hey, you think you can keep this a secret between us two?
Airport Staff: Huh? O-Of course!
Akane: <Thank you.>
[sfx: Akane walking off]
Kurono: Akane-san, after you.
[sfx: Akane getting in the car, car trunk opening, shutting]
Akane: You know, I felt bad about complaining after you went to the trouble of coming to pick me up… But why did you bring the Lexus?
Kurono: Would you have preferred the Mercedes?
Akane: Don’t be an idiot, of course not. I told you, I wanted to stop for ramen on the way back like always. This thing’s real annoying to park outside the shop is all.
Kurono: Ramen…? (short laugh) It’s only just hitting me that you’re finally back, Akane-san.
Akane: Hey, you… actually listen to what I’m saying for once! You haven’t heard a word I’ve said the whole time I’ve been here!
Kurono: I’ll make you something to eat when we get back. I’ll even make your favourites today, whatever you want. Including ramen, or sukiyaki.
Akane: Fine… Then, the sukiyaki.
Kurono: Alright. Understood!
Akane: Also… Yeah. I am sorry, for complaining, when you were just worrying about me like you always do.
Kurono: Don’t be! I do this because I want to.
Akane: Hmph. You’re hardworking too, you know. But really you don’t need to do all that for me, either. To be honest, our parents’ relationship couldn’t matter less to me.
Kurono: But it does matter! I’m proud of the fact that my father acts as private secretary to the CEO of Higurashi Group. And though I’m only his son, the company looks after me as well–
Akane: Of course they do! Your old man’s important to us. If it weren’t for him, the company wouldn’t even be running.
Kurono: Thank you very much. My dad would be glad to hear that too. Even still, not only being in a band with you, but even being able to live alongside you… It’s truly an honour. I’ll continue to serve you to the best of my ability!
Akane: Jesus, you don’t gotta be so formal about it, what are you, a samurai?
Kurono: Not to mention, you navigating through Tokyo by train is entirely out of the question! What if you were to get mobbed by fans?
Akane: It’s never gone that far. The only reason people even recognise me is because you’re next to me, anyways.
Kurono: If something were to happen to you, I’d never be able to face your parents again…!
Akane: Oh, on that note, they doing alright?
Kurono: Yes, of course! You didn’t meet up with them while you were in New York? I shared your travel schedule with them ahead of time, so I had assumed…
Akane: We don’t really have anything to talk about, I guess. They must have thought the same.
Kurono: But surely meeting up once in a while is–
[sfx: watch alarm beeping]
Kurono: Oh, sorry to interrupt our conversation, but is it alright if I turn on the radio?
Akane: Go ahead.
[sfx: beep, radio jingle]
Radio Akane: Daybreak RubiRadio from RUBIA Leopard.
Akane: Ahh. That’s broadcasting today, is it?
Mashiro: And on that note, let’s get started! This is Daybreak RubiRadio. Your host today is me, Rubire’s [2] bassist, Mashiro Fuyuki, happy to be here! Sorry to all the adorable kittens who wanted to hear Akane-chan’s voice today! Our precious king is all the way in America at the moment! He’s left me all alone, isn’t that just so cruel of him?
Akane: King, hm?
Kurono: He really shouldn’t be saying such ridiculous things, as your representative no less!
Mashiro: But thanks to him, I get to spend a little time alone with you. Isn’t that wonderful? As is my responsibility, I’m keeping you all to myself today. Get ready~ (kiss)
Kurono: Don’t you dare disgrace the image of our program!
Akane: I do basically the same thing, don’t I?
Kurono: It’s entirely different when you do it!
Akane: What scale are you grading on here?
Mashiro: Now, first things first, our news catchup. RUBIA Leopard are currently on tour with their new album, RUBIA Leopard Third Tour: Battle Cry! But of course, you already knew that! So, this time we had planned to perform in 10 venues across 5 different locations nationwide, however… We’ve suddenly decided to add another location to the tour, bringing us to a total of 11 performances! Furthermore! On the final day of the tour, Rubire will be performing solo on an outdoor stage for the very first time! Round of applause!
[sfx: Mashiro clapping]
Akane: (completely monotone) Oh, how impressive…
Kurono: You say that as if it’s someone else’s work. This is a fantastic achievement, and it's thanks to your brilliant songwriting, Akane-san!
Akane: Achievement, huh?
Mashiro: Now, I know not everyone was able to get tickets, so some of you may be angry, but I’ll talk to the higher-ups and see what I can do!
Kurono: That’s Iwahara’s speciality as our manager! Not yours!
Mashiro: This show’s gonna be our best ever, absolutely legendary. So… make sure you don’t miss it, alright?
[sfx: tires screeching, Kurono violently stopping the car]
Kurono: (filled with rage) Stop screwing around! Akane-san is always legendary!
Akane: How about you cool down a little? You’re saying some odd shit...
Mashiro: For more information about tickets and the show, take a look at the official website, ‘kay? Now, let’s take a break from the important stuff. Talking to myself like this has me feeling lonely… (seductive voice) How about I give the person on my mind right now a call…?
[sfx: phone ringing]
Mashiro: Hi, you there? It’s me. Tell me, what are you doing right now?
Haiji: I’m in the middle of doing housework. But, just as planned, I’ve managed to make time to talk with you, Mashiro-san.
Mashiro: Oh, come on, you couldn’t keep the bit going just a little longer?
Haiji: Good job today, Mashiro-san!
Mashiro: Yup, thanks, you too. And now, I’ll introduce our special guest, RUBIA Leopard’s parental guardian, I mean, drummer: Haiji! Round of applause!
Haiji: I’m Haiji! Nice to meet you all! Also, Mashiro-san, am I really a guardian figure?
Mashiro: Yeah, yeah, you’re the kasugai [3] holding us together!
Haiji: (laughing) Kasugai, really? You know the points of those things are really sharp, right?
Mashiro: (laughing) Uwah! That comeback was quick! You really are as sharp as a kasugai! Ah, and if you don’t know what a kasugai is you should look it up. So, Haiji…To be honest, I didn’t really plan this at all, so how about you tell me something nice? If you would!
Haiji: (giggle) And there it is. You’re really good at never doing anything yourself, Mashiro-san.
Mashiro: Oh, you’re going to talk about me? Well, if that’s the case, how about you talk about our super sappy love story?
Haiji: He’s always teasing me like this.
Mashiro: Aha! And there you’ve gone and revealed our secret dynamic to everyone!
Haiji: Mashiro-san, if you don’t stop saying weird things, Kurono-san is definitely going to get mad at you later.
Mashiro: Ah… that guy, hm? I don’t really care if he gets mad!
[sfx: Kurono punching the dashboard in frustration]
Kurono: Saying all this because he knows I can’t respond…!
[sfx: other motorists beeping their horns at Kurono]
Akane: Kurono, pay attention, the light’s green!
Kurono: Ah! My apologies…!
Mashiro: Oh man, looks like it’s time to wrap this up. Haiji, a brief message for our fans, if you please!
Haiji: Uh, sure! It’s been three years since RUBIA Leopard debuted. Three years is said to be something of a turning point, and it’s such an important year for us that we’ve added an additional location to the tour. On top of that, we’re holding a solo gig at an outdoor venue for the very first time, so I’m feeling a little nervous! We want to show you a really powerful performance, so all four of us will be working really hard to give that to you! Thank you for all your support!
Mashiro: Oho, A+ comment as always! And with that, once again, our guest today was Haiji! See you later, Haiji!
Haiji: See you! I’ll be going now. Everyone, let’s talk again, ‘kay?
Mashiro: That segment was shorter than I would have liked, sorry! All the girls who want to hear Haiji’s lovely voice again, he’ll be at the next live. I’ll be waiting too, so come see us, alright? Now, I’ll be taking song requests from–
[sfx: beep, radio turning off]
Kurono: I can’t do it. Just hearing his voice makes me angry…!
Akane: Kurono, please just focus on driving safely…
Haiji: (sigh) I couldn’t come up with anything interesting to say at all, was that really okay?
Iwahara: Well, Mashiro’s got a big enough personality that it was probably fine, you’re good.
Haiji: You really think it’s fine I didn’t go there in person? Wise manager Iwahara-san?
Iwahara: I have faith in Mashiro.
Haiji: Is your head on right?
Iwahara: Make sure you take a day off between tour stops.
Haiji: You look all disheveled. If the office staff see you looking like that they’ll start crying.
Iwahara: Haiji. Don’t you know? Even I’m only human.
Haiji: Yeah, I know. Then, at least take all the laundry out of your bag. If you don’t organise it while you still can, you’ll end up having to buy underwear and T-shirts from the convenience store again.
Iwahara: Yessir.
[sfx: Iwahara sorting out his bag]
Haiji: You ought to get rid of any trash in there while you’re at it. We don’t want to be rushing around on the day of the performance.
Iwahara: Got it.
Haiji: As for me, I’m going to head over to Akane-san’s place.
Iwahara: Really, at this hour?
Haiji: I got a message from him a little while ago. This jet lag is killing me, he said.
Iwahara: And how are you feeling?
Haiji: I’m great! I got to have a relaxing day today.
Iwahara: Don’t go getting drunk alright?
Haiji: You know, I think Kurono’s more likely to do that than me…
Iwahara: Well then, you tell him too. After this I’m gonna go take a bath and then sleep for 8 hours, and I won’t be waking up no matter what happens.
Haiji: Understood.
Iwahara: Oh, that’s right.
[sfx: Iwahara rustling for something]
Iwahara: Haiji. Give this to Akane for me.
Haiji: Oh, what is it? An envelope?
Iwahara: It’s his reward.
Haiji: Reward?
Iwahara: (short laugh) For hitting number one on the daily charts, on the same day of the album release, congratulations.
Iwahara: It’s only been a mere three years since their debut, but rock band RUBIA Leopard has been climbing their way to the top of the charts ever since. With their passionate melodies and lyrics, overwhelming vocal power, and last but not least their masterful songwriting, they’ve become an unstoppable musical force, and it’s said that they’re set to take over the entire industry. To say they’re unstoppable may sound like an exaggeration, but it seems to everyone that this band are guaranteed success. In reality, their story is only just starting. Come with me, and witness their tale take shape. Now then, let’s get started.
Akane: ‘DIG-ROCK’
RUBIA Leopard: ‘RUBIA Leopard: Volume One!’
[1] Said in English. Akane does this quite a bit, so keep in mind <this formatting> for those lines.
[2] Shortening of RUBIA Leopard.
[3] I considered trying to localise this, but I couldn't find a good equivalent and Mashiro says to look it up anyways. Kasugai are these massive staple-like things that hold bits of wood together (typically building interiors), pictured below. Haiji's right, they are kinda scary looking.
